There's this saying that goes "Don't worry about future problems until you come face to face with them". It says that because if you worry about the problem ahead of time and there turns out to be no problem at all, you've worried for nothing. The other part says that if you worry about it now and there turns out to be a problem then you've just worried about the same problem twice. I really like that saying, but I'm starting to doubt its accuracy.
I'm 19 now, almost 20, so hopefully I have a lot more living to do, but I can't help thinking that parts if my future won't be as rosy colored as I envisioned them to be. I'm a bit of a daydreamer, you see, and I'm terribly old-fashioned. I grew up in a house with two loving parents and a younger sister who annoyed the heck out of me, but who looked up to her big sister as if I were some sort of saint. I never had any dreams of ultimate success like six or seven figure paychecks and multibillion dollar houses. To me, where I was then was right were I wanted to end up in my own life. My parents looked happy. Sure they weren't perfect. Parts of their relationship were just as damaged as any other, but they were happy and they still are, even more so, I think, now that I'm out of the house. I was comfortable back then. I'm still comfortable today. Comfort was the ultimate goal I saw for myself as I looked into my future. I won't lie. I was consumed with the white pecket fence dream. In my future I saw a three story house, two cars, a dog named Chester and not two, but five kids all with some part of their name starting with the letter D.
It was a beautiful dream, but now........now it seems like the older I get the more that dream is starting to slip away, kind of like trying to hold on to water. For my future now I see uncertainty and adventure. I want to go to law school after I finish my ungraduate degree. I want to study International Law so that I can one day go work for an intergovernmental organization (IGO) or a non-governmental organization (NGO) that concerns itself with international non-profit work. I think my true goal is an IGO, so I'll work hard to reach it. Before that, though, I want to go to Japan and teach for a year through the JET program and after that maybe South Korea too. I want to study in China for two or three years so that I can really immerse myself in the Mandarin language. And of course I'd love to go to France too. I'm not sure what I'd do there, but I couldn't have my five years of learning french go to waste. That'd be nearly impossible for me.
A life of adventure sounds fastinating, right? It would for me too, if I didn't see me going through it alone. Of course there's family and friends, but when you can't see a significant other in it or any little babes screaming "mom" things start to get a little dreary. Of course married life isn't for everyone. My mom's best friend is an amazing woman. She's got a Masters in Public Administration, a teaching cerificate, and a law degree, not to mention she loves the Lord like no other, but has never been married or had any kids. She's spent her entire life as a caregiver putting others before herself and that's what made her happy, at least I hope she's happy. If anything, she'll never run out of joy.
That life may be perfect for her, but it's something that I've never seem for myself, so finally seeming it now scares me a little. I just hope that sometime down the rode when everything thing is said and done and I look back on my life, that I won't be disappointed. I feel like crying for my future self right now, because I never want to get to a point in my life where it's too late to cry. And so what if I worry now and there turns out to not be a problem? Won't that make my heart lighter knowing there was nothing to worry about instead of having it unguarded to a problem if there actually is one. These are the things that I think about sometimes. I hope I haven't depressed you mon cheri cyberworld. A bientot.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Mon amie et la langue coréenne
This is a very interesting post for me. It may or may not have a meaning (probably won't when I'm done with it), but I'll be trying to discover that with you anyway. Actually, I had no idea I was gonna write this right up until the point where I came up with the title. And for all of you non-french literates out there, I'm sure you'd like to know what the title says right? Well......tough. That's right, I said tough. Part of the reason I don't want to reveal it is, because the mystery's what makes the magic. The other part has to do with the fact that, although it may be baseless, I feel like I'm going to die for writing this post. Die as in being strangled to death at the hands of a friend. Jk. This post isn't that bad. Actually it's not bad at all. It's written plain and simple in the titl-.....oh that's right you may not know what the title means. Well, if you're one of those people who haven't already run to google translator and killed the magic by spoiling the mystery, then stay tuned. The body will reveal the truth.
Let me introduce myself to you really fast. Hi my name is....well if you're reading this blog you already know it. And if you don't it's over there in the side bar underneath 'About Me' *points right*. Got it? Great! So that's my name, T for short. Not really, just run with it. I'm a second year International Affairs major (its Global politics, but not really). Ok, let me digress for a second. I never understand how people don't get my major. So here's the scenario. I'll go up to someone new and introduce myself "Hi. I'm T. I'm an International Affairs major." and this is the exact reaction everytime. It never fails. "Wow. that's interesting. What....what exactly is that? I mean what do you do with it?" Come on people!! How can I explain it anymore than what it is. The title's the freaking DEFINITION. My major explores the affairs of the INTERNATIONAL world. Wars, famine, global trade, geography, international law, international crime, foreign languages, cultural differences. That's my major and yea its a lot, but that's what major concentrations are for. It kills me when people ask me what my major does, but then again I guess it can't be wrapped in a neat little bow. Biology-> science. Accounting-> business. International Affairs -> ? It's a social science you guys, but one that involves a lot of interdisciplinary studies. And with that I come back from my digressing. I like things that get me thinking on a global level. I'm an (oriental) Asian enthusiast, though I've never wanted to be Asian, which people seem to think go hand in hand. From the day I was born to the day I die, I'll always be a beautiful black woman and I don't get how that changes just because my passions lie in the Eastern Hemisphere and not in the R&B and Hip Hop music that comes on the radio. But to continue.
Basically today's thought process will involve languages (*cough* point one). The language of the very specific culture that was spoken about last time, to be exact. Also it's not about me (it wasn't suppose to be at least), its about my friend (*cough* point two). We'll call her.....see her name starts with a T too, so I cant do that. I would call her the Anti-fan, but then I really would be lying in a shallow grave. I know! Gustav. Yea, I almost forgot about her nickname. She has so many aliases, split personalities, she can call them what she will. Ha. Jk. I kid you. I do. About the aliases part, but seriously Gustav is one of her nicknames. Very funny, very selective inside joke, but a name that just has to be shared with the cyber community. Anyway, Gustav wants to take this said language and I'm really proud of her and I definitely hope she's serious about it. I think she wants me to take it with her, but at the same time she's learning it without me, so I guess she could careless.
It would be interesting to learn Korean, I must say, but everytime time I think about it, I get this image of my roommate, our friend, finally snapping and coming after me with a knife or something. To say she doesn't like the music would be an understatement, but at the same time she does sit through it for our benefit, so you have to give her mad props for that. We want to bring her on board the wave with us (yea that's right G's right up there with me, only I think she's over there hanging ten fingers or something. crazy child), but she studies too much and she doesn't like music she can't understand. It's so weird, though, because I feel that people who think this way are really missing out. Music is one of those global phenomenons that I believe can soar passed language barriers and culture differences, if people are willing to give it a chance. Weirdest music I think I've ever listened to and like was Ukrainian alternative rock. Then again I'd listen to anything in alterative rock and not give two cent worth about whether or not I could understand it...praying faithfully that it's clean. Rock usually is. (it's my favorite genre btw :3). But that's just me and I guess a mutual understanding has to exist among friends when it comes to things like this. I think we're wearing her down though. G and I speak in Korean a lot at my dorm, you know the basic "hello" "thanks" "idiot" "you're mean", that stuff. Well, D (that's my roomy (:) has heard it some much now that she knows what we're saying. And not just that, but a couple weeks ago I caught her humming to and singing the English part of "Where U At" by Big Bang's Taeyang. I'm telling you, the wave is inflectious. Non-believers be warned. Until the next mon cheri cyberworld.
o.y. (oh yeah) - the title. almost forgot. the hints were point one and two: the Korean language and my friend. that's it. that's all there is to it. Mon amie et la langue coreenne (stupid thing won't let me put the accent mark) = My friend and the Korean language. (ruin the magic for ya?) hmm....now that i think about it this post deviated away from the main title alot, didn't it? toldja. doesn't matter. me likes it, me keeps it. laterz.
Let me introduce myself to you really fast. Hi my name is....well if you're reading this blog you already know it. And if you don't it's over there in the side bar underneath 'About Me' *points right*. Got it? Great! So that's my name, T for short. Not really, just run with it. I'm a second year International Affairs major (its Global politics, but not really). Ok, let me digress for a second. I never understand how people don't get my major. So here's the scenario. I'll go up to someone new and introduce myself "Hi. I'm T. I'm an International Affairs major." and this is the exact reaction everytime. It never fails. "Wow. that's interesting. What....what exactly is that? I mean what do you do with it?" Come on people!! How can I explain it anymore than what it is. The title's the freaking DEFINITION. My major explores the affairs of the INTERNATIONAL world. Wars, famine, global trade, geography, international law, international crime, foreign languages, cultural differences. That's my major and yea its a lot, but that's what major concentrations are for. It kills me when people ask me what my major does, but then again I guess it can't be wrapped in a neat little bow. Biology-> science. Accounting-> business. International Affairs -> ? It's a social science you guys, but one that involves a lot of interdisciplinary studies. And with that I come back from my digressing. I like things that get me thinking on a global level. I'm an (oriental) Asian enthusiast, though I've never wanted to be Asian, which people seem to think go hand in hand. From the day I was born to the day I die, I'll always be a beautiful black woman and I don't get how that changes just because my passions lie in the Eastern Hemisphere and not in the R&B and Hip Hop music that comes on the radio. But to continue.
Basically today's thought process will involve languages (*cough* point one). The language of the very specific culture that was spoken about last time, to be exact. Also it's not about me (it wasn't suppose to be at least), its about my friend (*cough* point two). We'll call her.....see her name starts with a T too, so I cant do that. I would call her the Anti-fan, but then I really would be lying in a shallow grave. I know! Gustav. Yea, I almost forgot about her nickname. She has so many aliases, split personalities, she can call them what she will. Ha. Jk. I kid you. I do. About the aliases part, but seriously Gustav is one of her nicknames. Very funny, very selective inside joke, but a name that just has to be shared with the cyber community. Anyway, Gustav wants to take this said language and I'm really proud of her and I definitely hope she's serious about it. I think she wants me to take it with her, but at the same time she's learning it without me, so I guess she could careless.
It would be interesting to learn Korean, I must say, but everytime time I think about it, I get this image of my roommate, our friend, finally snapping and coming after me with a knife or something. To say she doesn't like the music would be an understatement, but at the same time she does sit through it for our benefit, so you have to give her mad props for that. We want to bring her on board the wave with us (yea that's right G's right up there with me, only I think she's over there hanging ten fingers or something. crazy child), but she studies too much and she doesn't like music she can't understand. It's so weird, though, because I feel that people who think this way are really missing out. Music is one of those global phenomenons that I believe can soar passed language barriers and culture differences, if people are willing to give it a chance. Weirdest music I think I've ever listened to and like was Ukrainian alternative rock. Then again I'd listen to anything in alterative rock and not give two cent worth about whether or not I could understand it...praying faithfully that it's clean. Rock usually is. (it's my favorite genre btw :3). But that's just me and I guess a mutual understanding has to exist among friends when it comes to things like this. I think we're wearing her down though. G and I speak in Korean a lot at my dorm, you know the basic "hello" "thanks" "idiot" "you're mean", that stuff. Well, D (that's my roomy (:) has heard it some much now that she knows what we're saying. And not just that, but a couple weeks ago I caught her humming to and singing the English part of "Where U At" by Big Bang's Taeyang. I'm telling you, the wave is inflectious. Non-believers be warned. Until the next mon cheri cyberworld.
o.y. (oh yeah) - the title. almost forgot. the hints were point one and two: the Korean language and my friend. that's it. that's all there is to it. Mon amie et la langue coreenne (stupid thing won't let me put the accent mark) = My friend and the Korean language. (ruin the magic for ya?) hmm....now that i think about it this post deviated away from the main title alot, didn't it? toldja. doesn't matter. me likes it, me keeps it. laterz.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Current Obsession ~ Korean Wave Anyone?
I'm the type of girl who loves to have.....let's see. I know the title of this post has the word obsession in it, but its such a heavy word. Okay, i'll say likes for the sake of this post. I'm the type of girl who loves to have likes. It gives me something to occupy my mind and look forward to in this, otherwise, dramatic world we live in. So anyway, my obsessions (oops....there goes that word :3) can last anywhere from a weekend (there was that Family Matters thing. seriously i wanted to know what was the deal with that Stefan guy) and the anime thing (which lasted for three years). I still like anime, but the obsession seems to have alighted from the time that i first got into it.
So apparently now, (which brings me to the entire point of this post) I've learned how to surf, because with no problem at all I've hopped on the Korean Wave and haven't managed to fall off yet. For any of you who don't know what the Korean Wave is, it's anything that has to do with Korean culture, specifically in my case the entertainment. And trust me there is enough Korean entertainment out there to sift through without getting bored or tired. The best yet is the music and after that are the variety shows. The dramas are good too, but the music is my first love. SM Entertainment musical groups to be exact, but I do manage to throw a little JYP and YG into the mix. Still, though, SM is where it's at. It may be a crappy company when it comes to treating its artists well, but it does produce some of the most famous artists to come from Korea. It already has two of the most famous Korean boy bands, DBSK and Super Junior, under its wing not to mention upcoming groups like SHINee and Girl's Generations (though I don't know much about the female Korean artists).
JYP produces good ones too. They have Rain and Wonder Girls. These artists have already made it pass the barrier, which is American Entertainment. Don't know them? For Rain only two words matter: Ninja Assassin (yea that was him). And all the Wonder Girls need is four: Jonas Brothers World Tour. So yea, these peeps are hot stuff. YG only has one band that I like, Big Bang. Se7en's famous too. He did do that collabo with Lil' Kim. Anyone see his new single "Girls" premier on 106 & Park? Garbage. Complete garbage compared to the stuff that he's done in Asia. But the song's catchy and at least he can say he's made it in America. Seriously, though, BET? That's impressive. He's like an Asian Justin Timberlake. I hear he freestyles alot of his dances on stage. Major props.....but he's still not my favorite.
Super Junior is my favorite and by far and its not just because of their music either. They are thirteen of the funniest guys you'll even know. And yes that's right I said thirteen, but don't worry, comprehending a thirteen member b
oy band gets easier as time progresses. I do remember the first time I was introduced to them, though. My friend showed me their "Sorry, Sorry" video and I was reminded vaguely of the Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" video. Nicole stood out so much that I though everyone else was a backup dancer. Same with this video. I saw four or five guys really standing out and everyone else just dancing. At least I think they were the same guys (I couldn't tell them apart back then). But there were those four guys and the backup dancers, only the backup dancers weren't staying in the back. They were getting in the way so much that I finally had to turn to my friend and ask, "How many guys are in this band?" She replied with, "Thirteen, I think." Gasp much. But yea, I love them now. They're my boys and speaking of, let me familiarize you with them. In the picture starting from the top and going left to right and down in the same order there's Kangin, Sungmin, Hankyung (the Chinese member and my fav), Siwon, Yesung, Kibum, Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Shindong, Ryeowook, Eunhyuk, and Heechul. I'm pround of myself. I didn't have to look up the spelling of any of their names, although being able to tell them apart alone is a feat that surprises even my Chinese friend who still can't distinguish one from the other.
Wow this post is getting long. And it really sucks too. I want to write so much more, but I would hate to overwhelm you with my enthusiasm for K-pop and the world that surrounds it. I'll try to post other entries, giving more detail about these and other Korean artists so just keep your eyes peeled O_O (<- yea. like that. perfect). Unitl next time mon cheri cyber world.
So apparently now, (which brings me to the entire point of this post) I've learned how to surf, because with no problem at all I've hopped on the Korean Wave and haven't managed to fall off yet. For any of you who don't know what the Korean Wave is, it's anything that has to do with Korean culture, specifically in my case the entertainment. And trust me there is enough Korean entertainment out there to sift through without getting bored or tired. The best yet is the music and after that are the variety shows. The dramas are good too, but the music is my first love. SM Entertainment musical groups to be exact, but I do manage to throw a little JYP and YG into the mix. Still, though, SM is where it's at. It may be a crappy company when it comes to treating its artists well, but it does produce some of the most famous artists to come from Korea. It already has two of the most famous Korean boy bands, DBSK and Super Junior, under its wing not to mention upcoming groups like SHINee and Girl's Generations (though I don't know much about the female Korean artists).
JYP produces good ones too. They have Rain and Wonder Girls. These artists have already made it pass the barrier, which is American Entertainment. Don't know them? For Rain only two words matter: Ninja Assassin (yea that was him). And all the Wonder Girls need is four: Jonas Brothers World Tour. So yea, these peeps are hot stuff. YG only has one band that I like, Big Bang. Se7en's famous too. He did do that collabo with Lil' Kim. Anyone see his new single "Girls" premier on 106 & Park? Garbage. Complete garbage compared to the stuff that he's done in Asia. But the song's catchy and at least he can say he's made it in America. Seriously, though, BET? That's impressive. He's like an Asian Justin Timberlake. I hear he freestyles alot of his dances on stage. Major props.....but he's still not my favorite.
Super Junior is my favorite and by far and its not just because of their music either. They are thirteen of the funniest guys you'll even know. And yes that's right I said thirteen, but don't worry, comprehending a thirteen member b
oy band gets easier as time progresses. I do remember the first time I was introduced to them, though. My friend showed me their "Sorry, Sorry" video and I was reminded vaguely of the Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" video. Nicole stood out so much that I though everyone else was a backup dancer. Same with this video. I saw four or five guys really standing out and everyone else just dancing. At least I think they were the same guys (I couldn't tell them apart back then). But there were those four guys and the backup dancers, only the backup dancers weren't staying in the back. They were getting in the way so much that I finally had to turn to my friend and ask, "How many guys are in this band?" She replied with, "Thirteen, I think." Gasp much. But yea, I love them now. They're my boys and speaking of, let me familiarize you with them. In the picture starting from the top and going left to right and down in the same order there's Kangin, Sungmin, Hankyung (the Chinese member and my fav), Siwon, Yesung, Kibum, Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Shindong, Ryeowook, Eunhyuk, and Heechul. I'm pround of myself. I didn't have to look up the spelling of any of their names, although being able to tell them apart alone is a feat that surprises even my Chinese friend who still can't distinguish one from the other.Wow this post is getting long. And it really sucks too. I want to write so much more, but I would hate to overwhelm you with my enthusiasm for K-pop and the world that surrounds it. I'll try to post other entries, giving more detail about these and other Korean artists so just keep your eyes peeled O_O (<- yea. like that. perfect). Unitl next time mon cheri cyber world.
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