Change is......Changes on the Way

To make a dramatically long story short I have decided to create a completely new blog to harbour my Korean enthusiasm. And so here at "My Say" this is the last time you will see an entry that is Korean related. Actually because this is such an emotional time with goodbye's to old and hello's to new, and because I haven't posted in forever I'll make this entry a mixed blog. No need for me to announce it right. I'm so all over the place in my blogs that they tend to be mixed entries anyway, right? Well to try and combat my scatterbrainedness I'll create an outline, yes an outline for this entry to try and move it along for you all. Don't believe me?

Blog Outline (<- so serious)

1. The Weather
2. My Friends
3. New Blog

This should be easy enough to follow. Hopefully with an outline my writing will be less sporadic for you all. Fingers crossed :3

1. I've been meaning to talk about this topic for the longest time. I even started a blog entry, but was so distracted by the weather, or disinterested in writing at the time, that the entry never made it to fruition. Okay so I live in the Southeastern part of the United States, right along the Bible Belt there and our weather has been going crazy. It snows one day, its hot the next. Even poor Florida within the Miami area experienced lows of 50 degrees just recently. Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina have all been hit by at least three disconnected snowdays, which have closed roads, schools, caused wrecks and panic. I'm telling you the South just isn't meant for this weather. This coupled with the earthquakes that hit Haiti and Chile have my boss convinced that we are living in the End Days. I know as a Christian I'm suppose to pray for the end to come and all that, but I'm kinda hoping it holds off until after 2012 to prove all of those people wrong who believe the world's gonna end in Decemeber four years from now just because the Mayan Long Count Calendar stops. As for Apocalyptic literature I really can't say much.

2. Alright. On to my friends. This is the part of the blog where it becomes K-Ent related. If I have not stressed enough for you that my friends are absolutely crazy and are ultimately the reason I am so Korean obsessed now, hopefully this will solidify your opinion of them. Like a said above I'm Christian and right now Christians are going through a period called Lent (the 40 days that Jesus fasted in the desert before his death). Well Christians are also called to fast for those 40 days. You don't have to, but its encouraged. Most people give up chocolates or sweets. I decided to break my Lent season up into a three part fast. The first part of my fast was no Korean Entertain (k-music, dramas, pictures, nothing), second was a liquid cleasning water only diet (which I'm currently doing), and the last would be a no meat diet. My water diet just started today, which means that as of twelve o'clock this morning my K-Ent fast was officially over. Now in my opinion the fast wasn't that bad. It was only for two weeks and my productivity levels went up a bit, because I wasn't constantly watching videos. It wasn't that bad for me, but -and this is the part were I really found out how connected the world is - to my two equally obsessed, (?)......addicted (?)......whatever, friends it was torture. Even my little sister wasn't too happy with me in the beginning. She's finally managed to tell all of the 2PM members apart and she counldn't even show the only person who'd be ecstatic about her accomplishment, because I was fasting.

And if you think I'm overexggerating about how much my fasting decision effected my friends allow me to recall the events that happened at 12:05 last night/this morning. Sometime during a conversation with my roommate D, I mentioned that my K-Ent fast was officially over at twelve. She quipped at me saying that she knew where I'd be at twelve and I replied to her saying that I'd probably be asleep, because I had been passing out early for the last few days. Rika (a.k.a Gustav. I'll be calling her Rika from now on, maybe Gustav here and there) overheard what I had said and seriously disagreed, telling me that if I was asleep at twelve she'd come in my room and wake me up just to show me a Korean related picture her and Sheeta (the other crazy one) had been dying over for the past fifteen minutes. At 11:47 I went to take a 20 minute nap/break from studying. I told D to wake me up when 20 minutes was over (in the end there would be no need -_-) At 12:05 there was knocking at my door. Two random, crazy, possessed girls were standing in the door way. I rolled over to ignore them, my lights came on and everything became a blur after that (literally cuz my eyes weren't adjusted). The things I remember most though, were: a white board being thrusted into my face, rolling over, my alarm clock going off, an apple being shoved into my hand (by a random D, who walked in and right back out), covers being pulled away, and Cheshire cat grins from the two Korean fanatics standing over me. What an interesting way to break a fast. I may still be lacking in my up to date Korean knowledge, but with friends like mine I'm sure I'll catch up.

3. And last, but not least (<- yes cliched. no daggers please), what's the deal with this new blog? Good question. I'm not gonna take up too much of your time here. Don't want this blog post becoming offensively long, but basically I'm creating a new blog. It's up already actually. Feel free to take a peek. You can get to it be going to the right out there a click "View Profile". Scroll down and click "Korean Wave Anyone?" and you could just click on the title of the blog. Whichevers easiest ;)

Until when, my dears.

This is Why!!

So right about now I should be doing homework, or studying for that french test I have at two, but I just got inspired to write a list and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share it. The title of this list is........(<- dramatic effect) "Five Reasons Why I Love Korean Music and Why You Should Too". My friend's also working on a similar project. You all should remember her from my previous entry about the Korean Wave, Gustav :), well she's doing a powerpoint on the Korean Wave. I know right!? With pictures and everything. Needless to say I'm no where near as creative as she is and I definitely don't have the patience to sit there and create a powerpoint describing all the reason why I think Korean Entertainment is so awesome. That'd take too long :) . So anyway, I marveled at her powerpoint, even ooed and awed in the right places, but I never considered creating anything like it myself, not even a list. I guess my trail of thinking went like this: "I like Korean Entertainment, because I like it. If you can't see why I like it to maybe get into it yourself then, HA, your loss." However, just awhile ago I was listening to Yesung of Super Junior's solo song for the Tazza OST (Official Soundtrack), and I literally thought to myself "GAWD! This is why I love Korean music." After a little more thought I realized that, despite how utterly angelic Yesung's voice may sound, it's only one of the reasons why I'm currently in love with.......(okay let me side step for a minute. I hate using the term K-pop, cause I think it should only be constricted to pop music even though nowadays Korean music and K-pop are basically synonyms. I really don't care what other people do, but as for me, I'll use the abbreivation K-music whenever I want to talk about all Korean music in general. I'll agree that K-pop sounds cooler, but it feels so weird calling an F.T. Island ballad or a TRAX rock song K-POP)......in love with K-music.

With that said, I think I've chit-chatted enough. On to the list ->

"Five Reasons Why I Love Korean Music and Why You Should Too"

1) The Boybands: And this is a fully incoporating statement meaning boybands, real bands that are all boys, bands whose members are too old to be called boys anymore. They all fit. This includes everyone from Super Junior (with their vast majority of 24+ year old members) to F.T. Island (with their non-existent dance skillz, but its ok cause they're a band band) to SHINee (with their young, cute, adorable, dance machinyness) to Big Bang (with their Hip Hop swagga) to DBSK (who's name just says to all).

2) Killer/Angelic Vocals: And there are ranging vocals for everyone's taste. I'm a Yesung fangirl when it comes to his angelic voice belting ways. My friend is totally into Kyuhyun's smooth like chocolate, but powerful when need be vocals. Other honorable mentions that should grace this category are SHINee's Jonghyun; DBSK's Jaejoong, Changmin, and Xiah; and F.T. Island's Hongki. Now all the boyband members can sing....to a certain extent. These are just the guys that I know of who I think can blow.

3) Killer/Angelic Appearance: This category makes me laugh, because it tends to be the reason why I'm so bias when it comes to boyband vs girlband music. And yes this means how they look, not what they're wearing. That'll come later. Alot of the guys in the Korean Music Industry are not hard to look at, at all. Some are hot, others are sexy, alot are cute, a few are glorious (yes, i said glorious), then you have the ones that are different combinations of the four. It's funny too cause they can literally change in a blink of the eye. I would give you people to ponder, but this is seriously a preference thing. Just check out all the bands from number one and you'll start to see.

4) Dance moves like what: This can go for the guys and girls, though I still think the girls get out ranked. Their dances can be cute, but alot of times they overly try to look sexy or cute by doing extra stuff or not enough, when the guys can just ooze a certain feeling from their performance. Even still I'll give you a mixture of recommedations. Dances to look out for: SHINee's Ring Ding Dong, Love Like Oxygen, and Replay; Super Junior's Sorry Sorry and Suju-M's Super Girl; DBSK's Mirotic and Wrong Number; SNSD's Gee and Tell Me Your Wish (Genie); G-Dragon's Heartbreaker; Wonder Girl's Tell Me and Nobody; 2PM's Heartbeat; and T-ara's Bo Peep. People to look for: Eunhyuk, Taeyang, Taemin, BoA, and Rain.

5) The Fashion: It's sensible to say that people are attracted to people who look good, both in appearance and attire. Some of the Korean music artists have become so iconic in their awesome fashion sense that they've started wave like trends. Most noteable would be SHINee and the SHINee Trend, which includes, but is not limited to graphic tees, skinny jeans, and high-top shoes. Some other fashionistas would be Big Bang's TOP and G-Dragon. Alot of the girls have nice fashion sense too. Can't think of any in particular, but what seems to be in are the two sizes too big sweaters with skinny jeans and high heels.

I'm starting to see a pattern with this skinny jeans thing. Maybe I better go out and get me another pair. Anyways, that's all I've got for you today. Maybe next time I'll do a Top 10 list and do Korean Entertainment as a whole. I feel like all that would be added are the dramas, but if I think about the variety shows and what not, I'm sure I can come up with something. There's love in my heart for you mon cheri cyberworld. Until the next.

My future....decided?

There's this saying that goes "Don't worry about future problems until you come face to face with them". It says that because if you worry about the problem ahead of time and there turns out to be no problem at all, you've worried for nothing. The other part says that if you worry about it now and there turns out to be a problem then you've just worried about the same problem twice. I really like that saying, but I'm starting to doubt its accuracy.

I'm 19 now, almost 20, so hopefully I have a lot more living to do, but I can't help thinking that parts if my future won't be as rosy colored as I envisioned them to be. I'm a bit of a daydreamer, you see, and I'm terribly old-fashioned. I grew up in a house with two loving parents and a younger sister who annoyed the heck out of me, but who looked up to her big sister as if I were some sort of saint. I never had any dreams of ultimate success like six or seven figure paychecks and multibillion dollar houses. To me, where I was then was right were I wanted to end up in my own life. My parents looked happy. Sure they weren't perfect. Parts of their relationship were just as damaged as any other, but they were happy and they still are, even more so, I think, now that I'm out of the house. I was comfortable back then. I'm still comfortable today. Comfort was the ultimate goal I saw for myself as I looked into my future. I won't lie. I was consumed with the white pecket fence dream. In my future I saw a three story house, two cars, a dog named Chester and not two, but five kids all with some part of their name starting with the letter D.

It was a beautiful dream, but now........now it seems like the older I get the more that dream is starting to slip away, kind of like trying to hold on to water. For my future now I see uncertainty and adventure. I want to go to law school after I finish my ungraduate degree. I want to study International Law so that I can one day go work for an intergovernmental organization (IGO) or a non-governmental organization (NGO) that concerns itself with international non-profit work. I think my true goal is an IGO, so I'll work hard to reach it. Before that, though, I want to go to Japan and teach for a year through the JET program and after that maybe South Korea too. I want to study in China for two or three years so that I can really immerse myself in the Mandarin language. And of course I'd love to go to France too. I'm not sure what I'd do there, but I couldn't have my five years of learning french go to waste. That'd be nearly impossible for me.

A life of adventure sounds fastinating, right? It would for me too, if I didn't see me going through it alone. Of course there's family and friends, but when you can't see a significant other in it or any little babes screaming "mom" things start to get a little dreary. Of course married life isn't for everyone. My mom's best friend is an amazing woman. She's got a Masters in Public Administration, a teaching cerificate, and a law degree, not to mention she loves the Lord like no other, but has never been married or had any kids. She's spent her entire life as a caregiver putting others before herself and that's what made her happy, at least I hope she's happy. If anything, she'll never run out of joy.

That life may be perfect for her, but it's something that I've never seem for myself, so finally seeming it now scares me a little. I just hope that sometime down the rode when everything thing is said and done and I look back on my life, that I won't be disappointed. I feel like crying for my future self right now, because I never want to get to a point in my life where it's too late to cry. And so what if I worry now and there turns out to not be a problem? Won't that make my heart lighter knowing there was nothing to worry about instead of having it unguarded to a problem if there actually is one. These are the things that I think about sometimes. I hope I haven't depressed you mon cheri cyberworld. A bientot.

Mon amie et la langue coréenne

This is a very interesting post for me. It may or may not have a meaning (probably won't when I'm done with it), but I'll be trying to discover that with you anyway. Actually, I had no idea I was gonna write this right up until the point where I came up with the title. And for all of you non-french literates out there, I'm sure you'd like to know what the title says right? Well......tough. That's right, I said tough. Part of the reason I don't want to reveal it is, because the mystery's what makes the magic. The other part has to do with the fact that, although it may be baseless, I feel like I'm going to die for writing this post. Die as in being strangled to death at the hands of a friend. Jk. This post isn't that bad. Actually it's not bad at all. It's written plain and simple in the titl-.....oh that's right you may not know what the title means. Well, if you're one of those people who haven't already run to google translator and killed the magic by spoiling the mystery, then stay tuned. The body will reveal the truth.

Let me introduce myself to you really fast. Hi my name is....well if you're reading this blog you already know it. And if you don't it's over there in the side bar underneath 'About Me' *points right*. Got it? Great! So that's my name, T for short. Not really, just run with it. I'm a second year International Affairs major (its Global politics, but not really). Ok, let me digress for a second. I never understand how people don't get my major. So here's the scenario. I'll go up to someone new and introduce myself "Hi. I'm T. I'm an International Affairs major." and this is the exact reaction everytime. It never fails. "Wow. that's interesting. What....what exactly is that? I mean what do you do with it?" Come on people!! How can I explain it anymore than what it is. The title's the freaking DEFINITION. My major explores the affairs of the INTERNATIONAL world. Wars, famine, global trade, geography, international law, international crime, foreign languages, cultural differences. That's my major and yea its a lot, but that's what major concentrations are for. It kills me when people ask me what my major does, but then again I guess it can't be wrapped in a neat little bow. Biology-> science. Accounting-> business. International Affairs -> ? It's a social science you guys, but one that involves a lot of interdisciplinary studies. And with that I come back from my digressing. I like things that get me thinking on a global level. I'm an (oriental) Asian enthusiast, though I've never wanted to be Asian, which people seem to think go hand in hand. From the day I was born to the day I die, I'll always be a beautiful black woman and I don't get how that changes just because my passions lie in the Eastern Hemisphere and not in the R&B and Hip Hop music that comes on the radio. But to continue.

Basically today's thought process will involve languages (*cough* point one). The language of the very specific culture that was spoken about last time, to be exact. Also it's not about me (it wasn't suppose to be at least), its about my friend (*cough* point two). We'll call her.....see her name starts with a T too, so I cant do that. I would call her the Anti-fan, but then I really would be lying in a shallow grave. I know! Gustav. Yea, I almost forgot about her nickname. She has so many aliases, split personalities, she can call them what she will. Ha. Jk. I kid you. I do. About the aliases part, but seriously Gustav is one of her nicknames. Very funny, very selective inside joke, but a name that just has to be shared with the cyber community. Anyway, Gustav wants to take this said language and I'm really proud of her and I definitely hope she's serious about it. I think she wants me to take it with her, but at the same time she's learning it without me, so I guess she could careless.

It would be interesting to learn Korean, I must say, but everytime time I think about it, I get this image of my roommate, our friend, finally snapping and coming after me with a knife or something. To say she doesn't like the music would be an understatement, but at the same time she does sit through it for our benefit, so you have to give her mad props for that. We want to bring her on board the wave with us (yea that's right G's right up there with me, only I think she's over there hanging ten fingers or something. crazy child), but she studies too much and she doesn't like music she can't understand. It's so weird, though, because I feel that people who think this way are really missing out. Music is one of those global phenomenons that I believe can soar passed language barriers and culture differences, if people are willing to give it a chance. Weirdest music I think I've ever listened to and like was Ukrainian alternative rock. Then again I'd listen to anything in alterative rock and not give two cent worth about whether or not I could understand it...praying faithfully that it's clean. Rock usually is. (it's my favorite genre btw :3). But that's just me and I guess a mutual understanding has to exist among friends when it comes to things like this. I think we're wearing her down though. G and I speak in Korean a lot at my dorm, you know the basic "hello" "thanks" "idiot" "you're mean", that stuff. Well, D (that's my roomy (:) has heard it some much now that she knows what we're saying. And not just that, but a couple weeks ago I caught her humming to and singing the English part of "Where U At" by Big Bang's Taeyang. I'm telling you, the wave is inflectious. Non-believers be warned. Until the next mon cheri cyberworld.

o.y. (oh yeah) - the title. almost forgot. the hints were point one and two: the Korean language and my friend. that's it. that's all there is to it. Mon amie et la langue coreenne (stupid thing won't let me put the accent mark) = My friend and the Korean language. (ruin the magic for ya?) hmm....now that i think about it this post deviated away from the main title alot, didn't it? toldja. doesn't matter. me likes it, me keeps it. laterz.

Current Obsession ~ Korean Wave Anyone?

I'm the type of girl who loves to have.....let's see. I know the title of this post has the word obsession in it, but its such a heavy word. Okay, i'll say likes for the sake of this post. I'm the type of girl who loves to have likes. It gives me something to occupy my mind and look forward to in this, otherwise, dramatic world we live in. So anyway, my obsessions (oops....there goes that word :3) can last anywhere from a weekend (there was that Family Matters thing. seriously i wanted to know what was the deal with that Stefan guy) and the anime thing (which lasted for three years). I still like anime, but the obsession seems to have alighted from the time that i first got into it.

So apparently now, (which brings me to the entire point of this post) I've learned how to surf, because with no problem at all I've hopped on the Korean Wave and haven't managed to fall off yet. For any of you who don't know what the Korean Wave is, it's anything that has to do with Korean culture, specifically in my case the entertainment. And trust me there is enough Korean entertainment out there to sift through without getting bored or tired. The best yet is the music and after that are the variety shows. The dramas are good too, but the music is my first love. SM Entertainment musical groups to be exact, but I do manage to throw a little JYP and YG into the mix. Still, though, SM is where it's at. It may be a crappy company when it comes to treating its artists well, but it does produce some of the most famous artists to come from Korea. It already has two of the most famous Korean boy bands, DBSK and Super Junior, under its wing not to mention upcoming groups like SHINee and Girl's Generations (though I don't know much about the female Korean artists).

JYP produces good ones too. They have Rain and Wonder Girls. These artists have already made it pass the barrier, which is American Entertainment. Don't know them? For Rain only two words matter: Ninja Assassin (yea that was him). And all the Wonder Girls need is four: Jonas Brothers World Tour. So yea, these peeps are hot stuff. YG only has one band that I like, Big Bang. Se7en's famous too. He did do that collabo with Lil' Kim. Anyone see his new single "Girls" premier on 106 & Park? Garbage. Complete garbage compared to the stuff that he's done in Asia. But the song's catchy and at least he can say he's made it in America. Seriously, though, BET? That's impressive. He's like an Asian Justin Timberlake. I hear he freestyles alot of his dances on stage. Major props.....but he's still not my favorite.

Super Junior is my favorite and by far and its not just because of their music either. They are thirteen of the funniest guys you'll even know. And yes that's right I said thirteen, but don't worry, comprehending a thirteen member boy band gets easier as time progresses. I do remember the first time I was introduced to them, though. My friend showed me their "Sorry, Sorry" video and I was reminded vaguely of the Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" video. Nicole stood out so much that I though everyone else was a backup dancer. Same with this video. I saw four or five guys really standing out and everyone else just dancing. At least I think they were the same guys (I couldn't tell them apart back then). But there were those four guys and the backup dancers, only the backup dancers weren't staying in the back. They were getting in the way so much that I finally had to turn to my friend and ask, "How many guys are in this band?" She replied with, "Thirteen, I think." Gasp much. But yea, I love them now. They're my boys and speaking of, let me familiarize you with them. In the picture starting from the top and going left to right and down in the same order there's Kangin, Sungmin, Hankyung (the Chinese member and my fav), Siwon, Yesung, Kibum, Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Shindong, Ryeowook, Eunhyuk, and Heechul. I'm pround of myself. I didn't have to look up the spelling of any of their names, although being able to tell them apart alone is a feat that surprises even my Chinese friend who still can't distinguish one from the other.

Wow this post is getting long. And it really sucks too. I want to write so much more, but I would hate to overwhelm you with my enthusiasm for K-pop and the world that surrounds it. I'll try to post other entries, giving more detail about these and other Korean artists so just keep your eyes peeled O_O (<- yea. like that. perfect). Unitl next time mon cheri cyber world.

~Twilight~

I just have to write this post because I think it's time that somebody is completely honest with the rest of the world. Twilight the movie was a horrible adaption of the book and could have been done better in so many ways. It has its moments of pure 'omg, that's so cute' and 'ahaha! that's hilarious', but its has just as many 'wtf' moments as well. I think its definitely one of those movies that you have to see on your own to establish an opinion and here's the one I put together. Movie reviewer James Berardinelli said it best, "Twilight isn't an especially good movie, but neither is it an abomination."
I recently read an article on yahoo titled`Twilight' sucks up $70.6M in box office debut . It should be written more like 'Twilight' sucks (up $70.6M in box office debut). It's easier to ignore stuff thats in parenthesis. The movie didn't do so well because it was good. It did well because teenage girls are ignorant and gullible. I can say this without being prejudice, because I count myself as a part of that crowd. I, just like most of the girls I know, sat in the movie theatre at 12:01 am anticipating what I thought was going to be the movie of the year. Everything pertaining to this movie drew me in. The casting. The advertising. Posters, keychains, shirts (which i still want btw), and trailers all screamed blockbuster hit. The product, however, was very disappointing. It was a blockbuster alright. Shattering numbers and breaking records for females director, but I will not go as far as to say it was a hit.
A lot of things made this movie less than A quality. An inconcosistent plot for one. Everything jumped around. And none of the scenes ever really felt like they linked together. One moment you're looking at a scene in front of Bella's house, the next her school, then all of the sudden you are watching a scene in the forrest without having no earthly idea how the story ended up there. I read the book so I could pretty much followed what was going on. But the idea to stretch out James' antagonistic role to more than it was meant to be in the book was a mistake. Twilight the book's plot was more about Edward and Bella's budding affection for each other and the pros and cons (mostly cons) of that relationship. Playing up a minor part of the book so that movie watchers now have to follow two plots (a forming love affair and a psycho vampire) throughout the whole movie was a bit much.
This movie had its ups and downs. Even though the ups were fewer if I don't talk about them then this post will seem one-sided (and be inaccurate even). I don't care what anyone says, I think the casting for this movie was really good. Kristen Stewart's moodiness and teen angst breathed life into Bella and Robert Pattinson.....well he's just hot! The acting could have been better (especially for our main characters. i KNOW the actors have more talent than that. i've seen their other movies). Even though some moments weren't purposally funny, you will get a laugh. And the setting is excellent. Most people always think of that as an unimportant feature, but I think it really stuck out (thank goodness).
I'm not going to rant about the entire movie and break down ever little thing that was wrong with it, Robert Pattinson's acting for one. I'm sorry but they should have let him use his accent, poor boy was trying so hard to maintain the American facade (yes, it showed). Lucky for him Catherine Hardwicke's movies don't consist of much dialogue. I saw 'The Nativity Story'. Awesome and very moving movie, but there had to be about ten lines of dialogue total throughout the whole thing. Oh right I said I WOULDN'T rant. That's what critics are for.
What I can't understand though is why critics are being so nice to the movie. They are sugar-coating their critiques and blaming the success on teenage girls instead of focusing on the movie. Maybe they just don't want a horde of crazy Twilight fangirls coming after them (can't blame them for not wanting that). Two critics got it right though. I may not agree with everything either says, but they stay it, for the most part, like I would have if I were a critic. Check out their reviews:
http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=1394
http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2008-11-19-twilight_N.htm
I hope this helps all of those who are still thinking about whether or not they want to see the movie. Ultimately,though, the only one who can really decide for you if its a good movie or not is you.

Headache

It is so hard to accept a situation where you know something needs to be changed and other people remine oblivious to the fact that there even is a problem. The question then becomes, well who's right. Is it that person who sees the situation from a "leave it alone time with heal stand point", making you seem like a paranoid drama started or is it you who sees the damaging effects of the ignorant bliss for what it actually is?
I promise you if I actually knew the answer to that question I wouldn't be sitting here writing this post now. However, I do hold the opinions and views of the latter, which is the position I will write from.
The situation, or problem, as it seems to be in the majority of the mother-daughter fights that I have been having with my mom lately centers around my little sister. My little sister is a special type. She doesn't really do much of aything except internet surf and talk on the phone all day. She's 12 and before you come to the conclusion that she is the same as most girls her age let me further my description. She doesn't like to do ANYTHING else. She doesn't know how to ride a bike, skate, mini golf, bowl, dance, or anything that involves trying something new. She's a "shy type" (<- yea whatever). If it were up to her, which it is, she would be content with NEVER learning how to any of those things and for awhile that bother me. I thought she was missing out on things that kids her age like to do for fun. For the longest time I fussed and fussed with my mom to get her to try something new. If she did then maybe her world wouldn't be so small. Maybe she would be more opened to trying other new things. As time went on I realized that if she didn't want to do it, she wasn't going to do it. End of store, which was basically my mother's entire arguement, that my sister would grow into her own in her own time. So I have pretty much given up on that.
There is, however, another problem which is probably the biggest one of all it just took me until now to finally see it clear. My sister's biggest problem is not her unwillingness to try new things, oh no. She has an issue with communication and possibly even reality. She is rude even to the point of being called evil, which she has been called many times, when it comes to simple things like talking to someone. She is short-tempered and loud. It takes very little to set her off and she always wants things done her way. For example, once I came downstairs while she was watching tv and it was up pretty loud so I asked her why that was. She apologized then turned it down. Just as I'm about to head back to my business she whips around and nearly yells "Why do you care anyway?" "I just thought it was a little loud," I tell her. "Its not like its bothering you," she screams at me. At this point I'm shocked. I'm thinking why does it matter anymore. You turned it down already, which I tell her. Big mistake. This makes her madder and she just goes off. At this point I'm just trying to shut her up by telling her okay its over blah blah blah. I don't even know how it ended. It just did. Even today she woke my mom up, who's been under loads of stress lately, just to wash some of her drawers, because she doesn't like taking showers in the morning. My mother was already washing clothes, but she woke her up specifically for that task, because she was about to take her bath. See stuff like that really pisses me off, because the first person my parents want to blame is me for making her yell or for not helping her .
My mom thinks that its a phase that she'll grow out of in time. What time? She's been like that for 12 YEARS. The thing is when she was little she was a screamer. My parents, were no longer young parents when she was born so instead of discplining her, or punishing her to make her stop screaming they gave in to what she wanted. It was the quickest, and in my opinion, deadliest way to make her stop. She is a product of classical conditioning because of this. Though I may not have gotten the best score on my AP Psy test I do know a little about the subject. When she was little if she screamed she got what she wanted. Screaming equals her wishes equals happy parents until the next time, which was usually like five minutes later. Point is my mother is wrong to think that this is something she'll just grow out of. This is not a part of her personality, its something she learned. She was taught this. I'm just so tired of it. I can't even have a normal conversation with her without fearing that something I say or the way I say it will set her off. She is supposedly this shy, sensitive type personality who cries whenever someone tries to tell her about herself and yet she can explode in someone elses faces when the world isn't going the way she wants it. My opinion is that she isn't really even shy. The only reason why she turns inward around over family members or people she doesn't know is because she finds herself surrounded by people she can't control and she doesn't know how to handle that, because she is only like that around her intermediate. She wouldn't even be like that around me if it wasn't for the parents because I sure would have back handed her a couple of times when she deserved it if they wouldn't've stopped me. And the thing is I know I'm not perfect, by far I'm not, but the difference is I can admit it. My parents don't even choice to see the problem.
My mom told me today that I talk as if my sister is broken when she's not.
She's not? I'll believe that when I'm not the one stepping on the pieces of her distorted personality.